Its been a long week

I'm tired, I'm worn out, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm confused about what I'm really supposed to be doing for a job, I miss Emma, I miss my husband, I miss my friends, I miss me. It's been a long, stressful week at work. I've had a sick-to-my-stomach feeling about my job just about every day this week. I can't help but feel that there is just something different that I should be doing....something just isn't right. Is it time to consider a career change when you start making pro and con lists about your job? On one hand my job is probably greener than the grass I imagine on the other side, but what side? Any side? I keep asking what keeps me in the job I have. The only answer I can come up with is money. Isn't that sad? The money isn't making me happy, but what's a woman to do? If I take a job that's less demanding it won't offer the flexibility I have (when I'm not slammed) to start and end when I want each day or go on vacation when I want, or go to Emma's functions at the day care. If I work part-time it wouldn't be worth the day care expense. Surely I'm not the only mother who's had this dilemma, but I feel alone. I try to give it to God, daily...okay very frequently daily, and yet I still get no peace. Somethings gotta give, and soon. Tomorrow is Pancake Saturday (our Saturday morning favorite). I'm looking forward to making pancakes for my husband and daughter. It's fun to watch Emma eat pancakes (and put them in her hair). OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - Emma took 3 steps alone last night! She did it after her bath, in her room. She walked from Troy to me. I'm thankful the three of us could share the experience together. You would have thought we won the lottery or something we got so excited. She did it again twice tonight. She lets out the biggest squeal when she does it. I'll see if we can get it on video to share with all of you.